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Praise the Lord it's the weekend. This has not been the greatest week for yer man. Domestic disharmony, serious cash flow problems, and the Jimbo-mobile decided to develop a problem.

Now I do need to share this with a wider audience. For one hour of a surly mechanics time the garage have advised that it will be a bargain price of 55 sheets, plus VAT of course. 

I am no expert, but an hourly rate like that suggests that the electronic engine analysis will in fact be carried out by a crack member of NASA, rather than some monosyllabic knuckle dragger called Darren.

It is an unfair world.

Anyway back to matters football related. The Champions League draw was a cracker. The Manchester United v Rangers match up is the one everyone is looking forward to. 

The sight of Roy Keane realising a lifetime ambition of being able to physically assault Rangers players will be essential viewing. 

Looks as though United will coast into next round but who knows, Rangers may just shade second place.

Arsenal I fear are in for another disastrous campaign. The two trips to Russia have defeat written all over them. The other two British clubs, Chelsea and Celtic both have great draws and I wouldn't rule out Arsenal being the only British team not to make next round.

To go back to my earlier ranting theme allow me a few moments to talk about Liverpool. I have never supported them but, during my formative years, they had a fantastic, exciting football side. Now? A turgid pale imitation of a football team. And they have got Emile Heskey.

A little publicised fact is that this is the last year of Gerard Houllier's five year plan. Unless his plan was to get an unattractive, boring team to fail to qualify for the Champions league you have to put it down as a failure.

 
 

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However the most annoying thing for me is that Houllier is a popular sort with the media. Always available, ready with a quote and quite happy to give the press boys a heads- up on any possible signing targets. A boon for any lazy journalist. On that basis there has been no clamour for his sacking. It makes me mad.

Not as mad as the hourly rate for mechanics, but mad nonetheless.

Well it is my intention to extract the maximum amount of fun out this weekend as possible. Guinness, lap dancers, football, curry and a modest investment at the bookies are all high on the agenda. I hope all of your weekends are similarly event packed.

Finally, a message to a friend of mine who reads this site.

JAFFA CAKES ARE BISCUITS NOT CAKES

There you go, it's on the internet so it must be true

Bon Chance

Jim Burke

‘Tis the weekend chaps

It's all thanks to the man at the bank

Well, that was International week

Things I learned this weekend.

International Week

Card schools, right?

Praise the Lord it's the weekend

It's going to end in tears

Great wasn't it?

A Very Cheery Charity Shield Game

It's Kicking Off

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