To explain, Manus is a man who drinks as if he has been told Tony Blair will be introducing prohibition at any time that day. I have lost count of the times where we have tried to hold the wee trumpet back. It always ends the same way, face down sleeping in a curry hell.

It is good for your hair though which brings me nicely to another thing I think is also fundamentally wrong.

Shower gels and shampoos that look like male sexual emissions.

I don't know what anyone else does in the shower but first thing I clean is the twig and nut sack. I just feel somewhat disturbed at rubbing a handful of something resembling Harry Monk into the family jewels.

Somehow I get the feeling the BookieBusters Pooh bah may well be writing up my P45 as we speak. 

It is an old chestnut but this is what I love about Sky Sports. It gives your weekend some structure. I mean if it wasn't for Soccer AM you would end up having a lie-in. 

If it wasn't for Jeff Stelling you would end up being dragged round the shops by your missus. If it wasn't for the game at four on Sunday how would you know when to get out your bed? I am still pathetically excited at the return of the Premiership.


Anyway I have to go and find a money making scheme to pay for this weekends debauchery. I know for most of you that would mean finding a good bet that would pay for the weekend but other than a couple of decent lifts involving the Old Firm I rarely have the best of luck.

To give you an indication I am the sort of guy who, if offered shares in the Funeral Home next to the Kennedy's house in Boston would turn it down on the basis I couldn't see it ever being that busy.